Researching the Twists
By korbona69
Author’s note: This story was inspired by one I read months ago called “The Twists.”
“He was begging me for forgiveness for cheating on me, when he looked down and had this really funny ‘oh shit, is this really happening to me?’ expression on his face,” Melissa Cooper said on the morning news show. She giggled and her large breasts, barely held in by the low cut of her dress, jiggled. “I looked down and at first, I was disgusted to see he had an erection! But then he crumpled over and started screaming, ‘My balls! My balls! They hurt so much!’ And I almost fell over laughing!” The redhead in her late 20s uncrossed and recrossed her legs, nearly flashing the audience.
One of the hosts, an interchangeable pretty blond woman, laughed uproariously alongside Melissa. The other one, a well built middle aged man named Mark, looked uncomfortable. He was already struggling not to stare at their beautiful guest and couldn’t help stirring nervously as they discussed what had become the bane of all men.
“And this was when the Twists were still new, right?” The hostess managed to get out in between laughs.
“Yeah!” Melissa said cheerfully. “I’d read a little about it, but I hadn’t known anyone who’d actually gone through it. I’ll tell you this, excruciating testicular pain sounded great to me. I left him lying on the floor, squealing and sobbing, and got myself a drink. I needed to lie down and think about what I was going to do, but I couldn’t because he was making such a fuss. And as I thought more about it, I got angrier and angrier. Everyone told me he was just with me for my body, but I thought we really loved each other. I couldn’t stand hearing his high pitched wailing anymore, so I marched back downstairs. I told him I was going to help him so he’d move his hands, and then BAM, I slammed my foot straight into his balls!”
The blonde hostess, as well as the female half the audience, laughed even harder as Melissa clutched her groin and pretended like she was dying. “He didn’t like that one bit, as I’m sure your buddy here can tell you.” She winked at Mark, who laughed awkwardly. “But surprisingly, like ten minutes later, he was able to limp upstairs to where I was packing my stuff. He was holding his stupid dangly bits and it was so funny how his voice was like three octaves higher, but he didn’t have the Twists anymore! He tried to apologize to me again, but I just threw my purse at his balls, and he went down again. I went to stay with my family for a while, where I told my sister about it, and when her boyfriend got the Twists, she kicked him in the balls and he was cured too! And from there, I guess the story just spread.”
“And so it did,” the pretty blonde hostess agreed. “This video went viral, getting millions of views within the day and kickstarting a lot of research.” The interview disappeared, replaced by a vertical phone video.
The video showed a cute dog laying on a couch, but suddenly high pitched shrieks pierced the air. The camerawoman spun around, showing a young man thrashing in pain. “My balls! My balls hurt so bad!” He squealed. Besides him, a beautiful redhead woman knelt, panic etched across her face. Melissa rushed in, a few years younger but just as curvy.
“What’s going on?” She cried over the sobbing coming from the man.
“It’s… it’s the Twists!” Her sister exclaimed. For a few seconds, they just stood there.
The camerawoman, his mother, could be heard breathing loudly, saying, “Oh, my poor baby boy,” over and over again.
“Wait, I have a crazy idea,” Melissa said. “Hold his legs apart.” Her sister, not knowing what to do, did so, easily overpowering the much larger man in his moment of weakness.
“Please… please help me! It hurts so much!” He screamed, still trying to clutch his balls.
“I hope this works,” Melissa muttered, before running up and smashing her foot into his groin. A loud THUD filled the room. The room went still.
“What the fuck was that!?” Her sister exclaimed, dropping his legs. “Oh my god, baby, I’m sorry, are you alright?” She rushed to comfort her boyfriend, who was screaming silently. His hands rushed back to his abused balls.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “Holy shit, oh my god, I’m going to die!” As he said that, a seemingly endless stream of semen soaked his pants. He was still curled into a ball, still filled with his masculine suffering, but his face relaxed a small amount.
The video cut out, and the blonde hostess returned to the screen. “Doctors still recommend a good hard blow to the testicles for any males who are suffering from the Twists. Remember: a kick will hurt for a few minutes, but the Twists will hurt for days! Mark, do you want to tell the audience about your experience with the Twists?”