The Ledger & Follow The Rules!

The Ledger, by mickeyBB

My name is Bob, I am 22 years old. I live with my mother Jane and sister Susie, who just turned 18. My father left us when I was 15 and Susie was just 8. Since mom worked a lot of hours to make enough to support the family I often had to watch Susie. I am 6'4" tall like my dad, but Susie was always petite about 5'1" tall and only 98 lbs. even at age 18.

I don't know why but I always teased Susie about being short, saying things like:

-that's the long and short of it

-what is the difference between a midget and a dwarf, and which one are you

-can you limbo under the couch and see if the remote fell under there

-asking her to stand up when she was already standing

- telling her she has pretty eyes, when she was standing on a chair or up a couple of steps like I've never seen them before.

Susie never seemed upset when I called her shorty or half-pint or any other name you can imagine as a rude thing to say to a short ( or vertically challenged ) person, but I was about to find out she was keeping score and payback would be a ball-buster.

Today mom came home in a bad mood and seemed to take it out on me, but not on Susie. I was a little annoyed with that and called Susie a midget. Mom hit the roof "You've lived here rent-free since you graduated high school

and I have treated you with a respect that you haven't really earned, but all you do is mooch and pick on your little ( and here I made the mistake of snickering at the little comment ) sister. Those days are over mister. Susie go get your ledger."

"What ledger?" I asked.

"The ledger mom told me to start about 3 years ago, counting every time you insulted me or picked on me," Susie said. Now I was getting nervous. I was kidding most of the time but if she wrote it down every time it would look bad.

"Now if you want to continue to live here, there will be new rules." Mom said in a stern tone. "Your rude and mean comments to your sister have put you in debt to her and we will even this ledger starting now."

"Mom I was only teasing her, and she acted like she didn't care, but if she wants to call me dummy, or idiot or whatever she can go ahead."

"You are an idiot but you don't get to decide how she pays you back. SHE DOES!! With my help and guidance." Just then Susie returned with the ledger actually 3 spiral notebooks, wow was I really that mean? "Susie do you have

our running total?"

"Yes mom, it's 8913. Wow-what a dick he's been," said Susie with a little smile at me, knowing she was getting some payback of some sort which I was unaware as of yet.

Mom sat down on the couch and told Susie and I to sit as well. "Here is what Susie will get to choose from for a total payback of eight thousand nine hundred thirteen: she can insult you, which you deserve but I wouldn't waste them on, or make you do a chore for her, or look taller for 1 minute by forcing you to lay down so she stand on you..." At this point I started to object but was silenced by a slap in the face from Susie. "....as I was saying stand on you for 1 minute, or slap you as you just witnessed but that was to stop you interrupting so it won't count against Susie, or kick you, or jump on you but that will take off 2 points even though she is very petite, or make you rub her feet for 5 minutes, or clean her shoes with your tongue 1 point for a pair of shoes, or practice her self defense moves for 5 minutes but that will cost 5 points but no per kick or punch charge and you can't fight back, oh I forgot punching and kicking 1 point each but because I feel some sympathy kicks to the balls will count 2 points if Susie wears heels or boots,1 point if her tennies or barefoot. Susie have I forgotten any?"

"Yes, mom how many points if I stick my sweaty socks in his mouth? And when I stand on him can I stand anywhere? And what if I need my pretty little toenails painted? And can I make him rub my feet and smell them when Jonny comes over, that would be awesome maybe Jonny would rub my feet too he always looks at them, it would be hard not to they're so cute and tiny size 5 and a half." As she was talking she held her tiny but, yes, cute foot in front of my face.

Mom took a deep breath before addressing all of Susie's questions. "Okay 1 point for 1 minute of socks, unless you wear them more than one day then 1 point per day of wear per minute." Susie gave an awwwwww... like she

wanted to stick her 4-day old gym socks in my mouth, I was getting very scared. Mom continued "yes you can stand anywhere when you stand on him, but if you stand on his face or balls you have to take off your shoes or it'll cost 2 points for 5 minutes, you know what I think he's been such a jerk he can paint your toes once a week for no points but 2 points for an additional toenail painting in the same week. If Bob brings Jonny or anyone else over to OUR HOUSE he will be subject to any embarrassment we choose, however, if Jonny rubs your feet or performs any of Bob's tasks it will still take the same number of points off as if Bob had done it. So Bob does this sound fair no actually forget fair, does it sound like payback?"

"You're crazy if you think I'm doing any of that I'll just move out, I am not letting that midget stand on me or stick her dirty socks in my mouth," I replied amazed they thought I would put up with that. BAMMM!!!!

Susie's size 5.5 foot was planted in between my legs with astonishing speed.

"5 more points for the word midget from now on we add 5 to the ledger every time you insult her or pick on her and no points off for that kick either." Mom told me. "And if you think this deal is unfair how about we call 911 and tell them you hit your mother and sister. In jail, you wouldn't get anything as tasty as Susie's socks shoved in your mouth that's for sure."

They both were laughing at the realization that I was going to have to work off all my rudeness from 3 years.

"Okay now we're at 8918, let's work it down to 8900 even before I go to bed," Susie said with more excitement than I had ever seen her show. She slipped off her white ankle socks and stuck them in my waiting mouth "5 points for 5 minutes of socks," BAMMM!! " another 1 point for a barefoot kick in balls, hell make it 2 points," BAMMM "now I'll stand on you for five minutes, then five of self defense. Let's see 1 more point to use tonight, I could make you take out the trash, nahhhh" BAMMMM!!!!! the worst kick to my tender balls so far. " Here I go, I'm stepping up on your chest how does that feel?"

"Hmmmphhh itch" Was the witty reply I came up with through Susie's dirty sock.

"Did you just call me a bitch? Mom back to 8905. Now I'm stepping on your face with my adorable little feet. Heck, I probably don't have to tell you where I'm stepping even though I only weigh 98 lbs. you can probably

feel it right? See if you can feel this..." she stepped on my balls, after having kicked them several times I didn't feel it very much. ".... can you feel it? Hell I got 5 more points after that bitch comment might as well use 'em up.

Mom how many points for a stomp?"

"Since we didn't establish that it'll count 1 point for now," STOMP, whimper, STOMP, whine, STOMP, cry, STOMP, sob, STOMP, nothing.

"Mom, he passed out don't count that last stomp, as a matter of fact, it was pretty rude to pass out while I was stomping his balls. I think we should add 5 points for rudeness." She continued to stand on my balls, I'm not positive how long I was out but she got more stomps and standing than the points she took off for sure.

I did some math and found that the number of points was over 8 per day for 3 years. Some quick math told me I could be kicked or stomped in the balls 8 times a day for 3 years and that's assuming I can break the habit

of making rude smartass comments, I hope that I can. I'll keep telling myself:

-rude comment= kick in the balls

-rude comment= kick in the balls

-rude comment= kick in the balls

-rude comment= kick in the balls

THE END (BUT REALLY JUST THE BEGINNING).

Follow the rules! by mickeybb, 08-12-2008

When my parents retired they decided to move to Jamaica, leaving my sister Amy, 16 and myself, Mickey, 20 to run the small neighborhood party store they opened over 20 years ago. Dad had been in the military and had a very structured and regulated way of raising his children and running his business. Amy and I ran the place together as virtually equal partners, although I actually had 51% stake for voting purposes on any conflicts. The conflicts were few because of the structured way the business was set up. Dad had left us a list of rules that were never to be violated and some that were open to discussion and possible change. Among the set in stone rules were obvious ones like absolutely no bare feet allowed on the floor at any time and to avoid repetitive problems with people without enough money we were forbidden from letting someone leave with anything if they were even a penny short, unless of course we wanted to put the money in the register for them.

Our store, D & D party store, was about 2 miles from the high school and one mile from the beach meaning we got tested on the no bare feet rule regularly and also from Amy’s schoolmates and former schoolmates of mine tested on the pay in full rule. Dad’s other main rule was to never dispute anything said by your coworker in front of a customer (for dad his only coworker was mom, and for me it’s just Amy), just do what they say and discuss it later.

Well I don’t know what Amy was thinking but she called me upfront while I was supposed to be stocking the cooler with pop and beer. When I got up front she said her friends Katie and Jen were on their way to the beach and didn’t have shoes. I immediately started to explain a rule she knew quite well when she said

“I know they can’t step on the floor with their pretty little feet but if you lay down right here lengthwise they can stand on you to reach the counter it’s only a couple of feet from the door.”

Katie and Jen were giggling standing in the doorway as I looked up but noticed they were in bikinis. They were both hot Katie was 5’4” about 110 lbs. and blonde, while Jen was very petite smoking redhead 5’1”

90 lbs. I was stunned looking at the girls and about to tell Amy off when I remembered dad’s no disputes in front of customers. I wanted to impress these two hot young girls and I guess taking both of them standing on me would be better than arguing with my sister, so I laid down with my feet towards the door and the cash register in front of my chest.

“Thanks Amy for rolling out the dork carpet for us.” Jen said as she stepped on my leg and moved up making room for Katie to step on. Jen had her feet on my upper chest and I could just get a faint hint of the dirt she had picked up walking around barefoot. Katie stepped forward and accidentally (?!!) stepped right on my balls.

“Oops, I think I may have misstepped on your dork carpet” Katie said with a laugh as I became assured that I would be impressing these girls from under their feet, what was I thinking?

Amy was laughing with them not exactly hurrying them along. After a couple of minutes of talk she finally asked them what they wanted. They asked for 2 bags of ice and 2 packs of cigarettes.

“That’s $ 13.55“ Amy said. Jen stepped on the side of my face as she reached in her pink fanny pack.

“Shit” she said “I only have 13 dollars I put all my change in a jar at home.”

“You’ll have to put something back.” I said causing Jen to put her foot back on my chest and step off my head, maybe she didn’t know she had stepped on my face.

”Shut up!!” Katie said with a devastating stomp that caught my left nut squarely. “Amy can’t you let us go?”

“No I’m sorry I have to put the exact amount of money in the register, but…….” she paused I’m sure for my benefit “…..I can put it in for you if you’ll do me a favor.”

“Sure whatever you want.”

“Okay Jen take 2 steps to your left” she did which put both of her feet on my face “ and Katie remembers what we did first in gym class today if you can do 10 of those I’ll put in your change for you.”

Katie said, “Are you sure you want me doing that here?”

Amy looked over the counter and said “Actually one step to your left”

“You’re evil,” Jen said as she laughed hard enough for me to feel her body sway a bit on my face.

Katie said “Sorry Mickey but I need those smokes and that ice.” Then I realized one step to her left put her right on my crotch again. For reasons beyond my control or understanding, I was hard as a rock under her warm dirty bare foot. “Wow, I take back that apology you dirty fucker getting hard at work in front of, or underneath actually, a customer. Okay, Amy just for you.”

I realized what they did first in gym class after Katie did her first jumping jack on me. I was still hard despite, or maybe because of, the pummeling my balls took under Katie’s feet.

When Katie stepped out the door, Jen stepped off my face and started towards the door I realized there was another pair of dirty bare feet dangling over my face. “Hey Mickey I was only barefoot behind the counter…” she leaped off the counter onto my face “but since you’re here I won’t break any rules leaving out the front …. No bare feet on the floor it’s disgusting don’t you think.” As she went on about bare feet being gross she continued to grind hers on my face.

“Try hopping on his balls Amy” Katie said as if it was a new fad, and I guess it was.

“Customer’s always right!!!” Amy said as she bounced on my balls 3 times giggling as I thought my 51%

Didn’t mean anything against this clever girl, my sister, who followed the rules to the letter. I had a feeling I would be laying in front of the counter a lot from now on and good thing I was finding out I liked being trampled and kicked in the balls, as I would be getting that a lot as well.